Xena's New War Cry
by Delenn
Summary: Wacky skit brought on by temp. insanity whose name happens to be Tali! jk. The AU God Of Love gets dropped in this universe! AresXena.


**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. Sorry to all fine, I give up.... **everyone**!! Your brain may never recover from this. Whoop's! Simply a skit comedy... You don't like it? Tough luck. Just don't read it if you're gonna be that way!   
Rated: PG-15 for 'sexual innuendo's' and 'potty mouths'   
Blame Tali for this, it was her idea!**   
  


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Skit #_2_: AUAUAUAUAUAU (Xena's new war cry)  
By ~Delenn~

  
  
  
  
**Prologue:**   
  
Ares, God of Love (the au, member?), was sitting quite happily on his throne in his favorite temple, when an earthquake hit. Being a god, he wasn't worried. That is, until a huge crack opened in his floor and he was thrown off his throne (get it?) and into 'the crack' (tm)!   
  
**Skit-like Fic-lette:** (Try saying that three times fast!)   
  
Ares GOL, rubbing his head got to his feet shakily and looked around "Where am I?"   
  
Aphrodite, storming in "Bro!? GET YOUR LEATHER ASS DOWN HERE!"   
  
Ares GOL, getting a good look at the goddess of love "Aphrodite?"   
  
Aphrodite, finally spotting Ares GOL "Ares?"   
  
Ares GOW, appearing "What is it, Dite? I'm busy!"   
  
Aphrodite, looking from one Ares to the other "Whoa, creepy, dude!"   
  
Ares GOW, spotting Ares GOL "Oh Tartarus, you again."   
  
Ares GOL "Hey! When did you come back?"   
  
Aphrodite, irritated "BRO! (as both Ares' look up) the one in morbid black leather (Ares GOW looks up) what is going on?"   
  
Ares GOW "Dite, remember when Herc went into that other universe?"   
  
Aphrodite, cautious about bringing up their half-brother "Yes."   
  
"Remember how everything was opposite there?"   
  
"Yeah, but... Omigods! That's YOU!?"   
  
Ares GOW, wincing "Not me. The alternate universe me."   
  
Ares GOL "Ares, god of love... why are you in pink Aphrodite?"   
  
Ares GOW, to Ares GOL "You're in my universe now. Aphrodite's the goddess of love."   
  
Ares GOL, stunned "Whoa, cool."   
  
Aphrodite "Ooh this is so funky! Two big bro's!"   
  
Ares GOW, shaking his head "I have things to do. I'll let you girls chat."   
  
Ares GOL, shaking his fist at the disappearing GOW "Did he just call me a woman?"   
  
Aphrodite, rolling her eyes "That's Ar for ya. Don't worry, you'll get used to it."   
  
"Whatever, man."   
  
Aphrodite, suddenly excited "Hey, what's Xena like in your world?"   
  
"Ugh."   
  
Aphrodite "You'll love our warrior babe! Come with me. Sides, I bet it'll really piss off Ar!"   
  
Ares GOL, confused "Why do you want to piss him off? I'm a lover not a fighter, you know."   
  
Aphrodite, giggling "Oh, that little skank of his, Dizzy, blew up one of my temples. And I want to punish bro."   
  
"Cool."   
  
**Meanwhile**   
  
"Xena, please!"   
  
"No,"   
  
"Please, please, please!"   
  
"No."   
  
"Pretty please?"   
  
"No!"   
  
"Xena, I'm begging here!"   
  
"For the last time, the answer is NO!"   
  
Ares, whining "No fair!"   
  
Xena, shrugging "Suck it up, you big baby!"   
  
Ares, desperately "You don't understand the gravity of the situation, princess."   
  
"Oh, I understand alright!"   
  
"No, you don't. If you did, you'd see my point."   
  
Xena, tired of this argument "Ares, she hugged you, I get that, but you can NOT kill her!"   
  
Ares, shaking slightly "Buuut Xena! I have Gagmeill (Gag-me-ill instead of Gab-ri-elle. Get it?) cooties now!"   
  
"She hugs me all the time, are you saying I have cooties!?"   
  
"You're special?"   
  
Xena, irritably "You just can't kill her. I won't let you."   
  
Ares, pouting "Fine. Just kill me now why don't you?"   
  
Xena, sighing "You are such a drama-queen! (muttering to herself) And I thought Gabrielle was bad!"   
  
Ares, resentfully "I resent that."   
  
Xena, sighing and pinching his cheeks "I know you do pookie."   
  
"If I didn't love you, I swear..."   
  
"Yadda, yadda, yadda!"   
  
"Hey! That's my line!"   
  
"I know."   
  
"You disgust me."   
  
"Hey, now that's MY line!"   
  
"Serves you right."   
  
"I know."   
  
"Pain in my immortal ass!"   
  
"Whipped."   
  
Ares GOL and Aphrodite, appearing in time to watch the warrior princess and GOW kiss "Wonderful relationship."   
  
Aphrodite "See, Ar, I told you so. (Ares GOW looks up) No, not you, the other Ar, (Ares GOL points to himself in a 'who me?' gesture) yeah, you."   
  
Ares GOW, stepping protectively in front of Xena "Ares, why don't you go back to your own universe."   
  
Ares GOL "What, and miss the chance of harassing you about being 'whipped' for a few eons?"   
  
Xena, correctly guessing everything "How'd you get here?"   
  
Ares GOL "I fell."   
  
Aphrodite, disappearing "Yeah, I'm so staying outta this!"   
  
Ares GOW, angrily "Good. So if I drop you on your head out of Olympus, you'll go away? Can be arranged."   
  
Xena "Ares!"   
  
"What?"   
  
"No."   
  
"Why not?!"   
  
"No."   
  
"Fine,"   
  
Ares GOL "Haha! You are sooo whipped!"   
  
Ares GOW "That's it, you better start running."   
  
Ares GOL, backing away "Hey, I'm a lover, not a fighter!"   
  
Xena, giggling "Ares, I am so not letting you live down what your alternate ego just said!"   
  
Ares GOW, sitting down and pouting "This sucks."   
  


The End

  
  


_Story disclaimer: This sucked. You know it, I know it, and the Ares' know it. But, if you're nice and reply, I'll send Ares GOL on over to your place. You naughty thing, you!_

  
  


The End


End file.
